Boredom|Monday, December 10, 2007
I have never felt this kind of boredom before in my whole 17 years of life.
It's just insane.
It feels like there's no where u could go or strive for at this point of time.
JC or Poly?
How i know?
Ppl already had their minds set n i'm still wondering where should i go...
This period of time is even more scary than O levels.
I feel empty inside me, like there's nothing to fill it full.
I guess, i really have to take my interests seriously, as in take it as a job or wadeva.
I realised that last year's holidays were alot better apart from the busy christmas carolling...
I got to do wad i like and wad i really loved...
And now?
Standing at shopping centres, serving the customers with enquiries and doubts...
I find it interesting too but not as contented...
I missed singing alot but wad else can i do?
maybe i can go down n see their performances and recall the times i myself singing on stage...
i am lonely, not because i have no one beside me,
but i gave up on my only interest in life....
i lose the chance of standing on stage and sing to the ppl ever again...
i even lose the time to go back to Soka choir to practice and perform with them...
probably for the rest of my life...
i missed the choir ppl and my 2 music teachers....
i missed all the great moments i had in secondary school and the frens i've made there...
moving on to a new chapter in life isn't as easy as i thought...
making new frens and gaining new experiences in another area is a challenge for me.
facing the real world and looking at ppl in a different perspective is what i gained at work...
i must really quit my impatient character and learn to be firm and strong inside me.
there are lots of things i've to learn n bear in the real world...
this is the time i should stand firm and accept the truth.
i have to make decisions that will affect my life and my family...
i will have to be responsible for my own actions and words...
no one else will protect me against the odds and nasty comments that i might get from ppl...
not even my own family...
i'll have to face those myself, alone...
look ahead and never turn back...
Where were you when skies were grey
10:49 AM <3
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