Tired but honoured to be...|Saturday, April 28, 2007
Today was RSS's 20th anniversary celebration. And also my last choir performance in Riverside as a student. It was indeed very memorable, the speeches given by Mr Bala and Mrs Pang really touched my heart. I hope the juniors can do as well or can even be better than us. 2 more days to MYE, me still slacking lor..tomorrow have to start mugging le....haix...tired lor...after syf and today's performance...after that will have focus study and evening academy...long hours of revision and studying...
I dozing off le lor...haha...short post for today...paiseh hur...also got nothing much to comment about...haha...nitex
Where were you when skies were grey
10:43 PM <3
| d r e a m |
Laziness kills me...|Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I dunno what to say...laziness has taken over my soul...i am afraid this moment...if this continues, i dunno what will become of me...Ignoring homeworks and neglecting revisions....i dun wish to...but i cant help it but to...i lost interest in revising...once i see books and notes...my head hurts...god...someone help!
Well, i tink Ms Choo is not going to come back anymore. She has her own life and lots of school for her to teach...maybe it would be better for her to leave...The school is under-paying her...the more she should...u must be tinking that i'm so ignorant...but u are wrong...i am no longer in choir...stepping down...feeling glad and sad at the same time...glad, cos i no need to waste time singing when i can spend time playing and maybe, revising my work...sad, cos i realised there are juniors out there tat will shed tears if we leave...i am afraid i would cry on the farewell party itself....i am just too emotional lar...Chuan whai said there will be one at Sentosa...in the midst of planning...hope everything turns out well...i was tinking, isnt tis supposed to be the new committee's job? oh my god..i am so afraid tat choir would collapse in the hands of the new committee...haix...everyone seemed uninterested in singing anymore...cry...well whatever it is, i shall not interfere with the stuff of choir ever again...
Glad tat maybe i will still return to TAS, so i will get to meet Ms Choo some other day...i am returning to my SGM choir after the mid-yr..i tink i mentioned it...nvm den...missed LeLe, William korkor, Guo Hua uncle and many more.....haha...suddenly feel a real urge to go back in the hands of SGM...i missed Ruiling, Ivy and Waner's family too....such warm feeling i had when going to the meetings and performances with SSA.....hope i can really give my best to them....hope Colin still continues to strive hard in SSA...i was real worried when Chuan whai mentioned about sensing things and he hads the ability...he is discussing it again...with those ppl i know who....he seemed inactive with the meetings in SSA...haix...i had spent so much effort last time to bring him in...afraid tat one day he would just be " denatured "..by those stuffs....praying hard tat he wouldnt...
Okay lar....so much of stupid stuffs...have to go do chemistry hw and revise abit le...take care ooh..good luck for mye...
Where were you when skies were grey
7:01 PM <3
| d r e a m |
恋爱为何物?|Sunday, April 22, 2007
昨天读了一本小说,<< 树顶上的红苹果 >> 是一个爱情小说.
故事里的男主角也同时在阅读一则网络上的日记, 名为<< 树顶上的红苹果 >>.
这是一个属于一位女生的日记,在日记里她把每一天发生的点点滴滴记录下来.
而这男主角却莫名其妙地爱上她的日记.
男生每天晚上一定准时开启电脑阅读她的日记.
他和她有着一些共通点:
喜欢喝Bacardi Breezer,
喜欢天堂鸟,
喜欢葡萄酒冰淇淋,
喜欢<<蓝地球>>, 喜欢....
有一个人伴着一起走过每一天;
喜欢两人依偎着一起看电影;
喜欢简单平静的感情.
但男生有一个相处了七年的女朋友.
女朋友喜怒无常,男生时时刻刻都必须迁就她,毕竟和她一起也有七年的时间了.
可是,两人在一起久了便会变成依赖...
连最基本的尊重也可能没有了.
男生无可奈何,但也不忍心提出分手.
最后,他们还是分手了.
男生和红苹果相遇并相恋.
从这故事里,我领悟了一个道理.
恋爱其实是一种负担.
尤其是在一起久了...
激情淡化了...
剩下责任与不舍...
难维持下去的感情
终究会结束.
为何要那么辛苦呢?
不适合就放手...
不要拖泥带水
不要浪费青春
寻找下个更好的...
让自己幸福把....
Where were you when skies were grey
4:48 PM <3
| d r e a m |
Touched....|Saturday, April 21, 2007
Sianx....Rahda has been giving us lots of past year school papers for us to do as revision...damn lots lor...i dun care le lar...too lazy to finish them...haix..went to chemistry lesson in the morning...tired seh...and the class was so noisy tat i screamed at kennerd n wilson...buey tahan liao lor...Mr cheong aso din say anything abt it...tink he was glad tat i screamed at them too...nowadays guys are just as talkative and bitchy...even more than gals lor....cant stand it...irritating people that made me lose concentration during lesson...hate them lots....after tat went cwp wif jieling....did sum hw at d library and went to makan...walked walked around then went home le..sian lor....haha...btw, to jie ling: 'i found yr blog le!' dun scold me kkaes? hee...
I was touched when i went to Gek Teng and Yuen Lam's blogs...2 of my juniors in choir...too bad they are not from sop section...but i was really touched...nearly cried...they ACTUALLY wanted to CRY as we are going to step down soon! Well...i tink no one will even bother whether we are in choir anot and how much we gave our hearts and souls into choir for these past 4 yrs....no one, practically....and some can even xing zai le huo when we got Silver for SYF...mei liang xin...Yuen Lam even said she missed having choir practice...seriously, i never met a junior like her who actually feel sad when there isnt any prac....which is exactly like ME!!! haha....i really feel sad and empty if i missed any choir practice...or i dun sing for one day....i intended to go back to SGM's choir after the MYE...cong shi cong shi myself after stepping down...hope choir can really go on without us....sad to leave....jiaoyu orh, my dear juniors....love ya lots....
I haven touched any revision for MYE. That is really scary. With only less than 10 days to MYE and more than 8 subjects, more than 16 chapters for each chap to revise on....i HAVE NOT DO A THING. die...feel really like giving up on studying and taking exams...tired of all these....but tis is reality...i still have to accept...haix...i shall just wait for days to pass and me to get old and die...life is totally meaningless...
Where were you when skies were grey
5:57 PM <3
| d r e a m |
chinese post.|Friday, April 20, 2007
这时的我感触良多,好想写出所有自己的感受...
相信大家都知道一个在大学射杀同学的韩国籍学生吧?
他因为看不爽那些有钱的贵家子弟而产生了妒嫉与怨恨,所以精神一时失控而谋杀无辜的同学们.
为什么人类会沦落到这种地步呢?
是世界改变了他们,还是他们改变了自己?
本是同根生,相煎何太急?
有时我真的不明白人的七情六欲和喜怒哀乐,何时能化为伤人,甚至是杀害人的一种原因与动机...
爱能化成恨,世间还有什么没有可能呢?
让人感到遗憾的是,知道自己一直在伤害对方却不愿收手...
一直继续伤害,永无停息之日.
爱恨情仇,复杂又难解...
我一向喜欢简单,不做作...还蛮坦率,直接...
但从来没有刻意伤人,我只想得到永恒的友谊.
但人心难以猜测,及少会遇到和你称心如意的那一位.
幸运的话,你会遇到. 不然,即使你找遍全世界也找不着.
爱情也是如此,只要找到那个对的人...一切都会变得美好...
爱情不会是永恒的,因为我们有一天也会死.
没有所谓的天长地久,也没有完成得了的承诺.
可以说它是个谎言,也是个梦幻里的情景.
既真实,却难以捉摸.
你明白它吗?
我不明白,从来也不明白...
直到我真正遇见爱情为止.
我是相信真爱的存在, 但是否能遇到, 我自己也不晓得...
所以,遇到了就要珍惜.
还没的话,继续努力寻找吧!
在世界的某个角落,有一个人可能在等待着与你相遇并相恋...
我深深相信那个人的存在,所以我会一直等待他的出现.
让自己幸福吧!
Where were you when skies were grey
8:54 PM <3
| d r e a m |
It is finally over...|Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Silver was what we deserved. I cried when the results was announced, i cannot take it. Tears were dripping down, bet my make-up looked horrendous...Hila and Zel also sobbed...the rest arh...cant be bothered bah...Mrs Pang comforted me and Zel..but the more comfort from her the heavier i cried...the tap was like never trying to stop....so i grabbed hold of a pack of tissue paper from Colin's bag and started wiping away...Gave one to Hila, hope he wouldn't mind...He gave me a comforting hug too....i really needed one...the more indifferent i saw the choir members were, the more sad i was....i gave my best on stage...and i believed most of the seniors did too especially Hila and Zel although she forgotten one of her lines...she cried lar but i didnt blame her at all..hope Ms Choo wouldn't too...I cried not because we didnt managed to get gold....it was because i knew our standard has dropped compared to the High Silver we've gooten two years...it was obvious...the attitudes and the sounds...i dun wished to mention names...but there were really people going really off-pitch on stage which should not happened to any of us....i think if Brenda or Pei Qi were to come and watched us...I will really break down...I was already very stressed up on the way there....just sat there looking out of the window in a daze....Until the moment i stepped off from the stage....i loosened up abit...but it didnt really helped...tensed up all the way until the results were announced...well...it is no use mulling over it now...it is over...and i can really heave a sigh...i will be out of choir after this month...after the 20th anniversary performance....thank god....finally i will be free....
Haix...missed school the whole day today....bet there is going to have alot of homework and stuff for me to catch up on....tomorrow is Physics test lor...haven even study..dun bother lar..just let it fail..i have no choice and no time...dying liao...Mid-year is one week plus away only..and i haven even done any revision by now yet....forget about it...i going to enjoy the rest of today to sleep..haha..bye...
Where were you when skies were grey
9:49 PM <3
| d r e a m |
Tomorrow is SYF!|Monday, April 16, 2007
Wow...time really flies...tml is SYF le...xin ku le for so long, finally the day has come. I'm so excited yet worried...everyone has high expectation for us...expecting us to get gold...if we can doit, well....it would be real good...but if we are still at silver standard...i have really nothing to say...Mrs Pang came in to see us...she told us about singing with passion and with enjoyment....throw everything else behind our minds....i wished i could do that..but can i? i was so pissed off by the guys in the choir....they seemed to be very carefree at this stage of time...oh my god..i cant get enough of them...giggling and all sorts of funny and lame things from them...not serious about the competition at all...i screamed and shouted...but all to deaf ears...nearly hoarsed my throat....man...it was frustrating...after the 20th anniversary, that is the time i can really get out of the tedious practices of choir...Another good news! No school for CHOIR tml!!! haha....Mrs Pang said de lor...good right? finally i can rest...my shoulder hurts now...very painful lor...now i'm at Cerlyn's house...lazy to go home lar...wondering how my sister did for her Chinese dance SYF today...hoope they gotten a gold....waiting for her good news! tired from singing..later still have to do my homework....sianx....kk lar..enough of this...everyone must jia you for tml ooh!!!
Where were you when skies were grey
6:56 PM <3
| d r e a m |
Spendthrift,is tat me?|Saturday, April 14, 2007
I think i am not as spendthrifty as i had described myself as.....i bought a new CASIO watch and a new bag today...spent about nearly 50bucks....to u it may be a small sum...but to me, it costs me the last bit of my pay le lor...sad...but i get to buy what i wan...still very happy lar...mum screamed at me for wasting so much money...paiseh...i gonna be broke very very soon...
Zelzel asked me a question in the noon today..."Do u wish to have a boyfren now?" Of course, it is a 'YES' lar...still have to ask meh....haha...but not as despo lar...just feeling very kou xu these days without a bf....my phone almost can go into hibernation for a week...jus feel very sian and so lonely...it's just sad lar...not to the extend of flirting lor..i would never do tat...maybe i will consider being single for my whole life, as in not to get married....in this way i wouldnt be financially burdened....haha...can lead a peaceful life...but deep down my heart there will always be an empty space...it can never be filled...the lack of love makes me lose my motivation too..should i say tat? i literally gave up doing homework....exhausted by the tedious timetable every week...remedials after remedials..facing strangers everywhere i go....no one to speak my mind to...it's a scaring feeling...imagine everyone in this world speaks english and you're the only speaks chinese or other mother tongue? this analogy may sounds weird lor...it's difficult to describe the feeling...leading my life messily...dun even know the purpose of doing homework and exams...i am just too tired of all these....give me a break!
Where were you when skies were grey
8:57 PM <3
| d r e a m |
Obsessions...|Thursday, April 12, 2007
I am obsessed with my choir dress....haha...today just gotten the coat for the whole costume...i was amazed by the Cina knot at the front...it really looked unique...people complained lar of course, as usual....ugly lar...disgusting lar...these people dunno hoe to appreciate things...take them for granted....haix...nowadays keep sitting in front of the computer...watsing my time....the house has been very quiet without my other 2 sisters..lol....some pictures for u all to see lor...
`this is the CINA knot i was talking about....unique rite?
`i am wearing it!
`this is how my dress looked......
`self-obsessed with the dress....hahaha.....
5 more days to SYF.....i very stressed up...chuan whai also can see lor...hope things can get better as soon as possible...after the 20th anniversary, i will be more ease...if not i will start screaming and crying for no reason....seesh.....think i may just give up studying by going to poly after i graduate...i am tired of all those formulaes and theories to memorise and practice....god....i am half dead....someone, anyone...help!
Where were you when skies were grey
7:03 PM <3
| d r e a m |
Stress arh....|Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Lol...been singing for nearly 5 hours non-stop for choir this afternoon. Tired, sleepy....but i still move on...rachel said i looked tired but in my mind i am not tired at all...i bear with all noise and nonsense from the members....i really can be awarded the most patient singer in choir....during the very first part of choir, Ms Choo hadnt reach yet...they wanted to do octec (is it spelled like tat?) singing..horrendous is wad i can described them! i really was very angry and DISAPPOINTED. I cried leh....tears filled anger flowed down uncontrollably.....i dunno why....Samuel was startled by crying bah...paiseh leh....really cant take it...got some even sang OUT OF TUNE ....OMG....only 6 DAYS to SYF leh...i dunno wad to tell them already...fed up....i tink most of the choir members dunno how to appreciate their voice and the music we sing. I really can feel the flow and emotion in the songs...be it a sad love song or a happy joyous song....if u really listen, the beautiful notes can really make your hair stand....goosebumps all over..i am not lying...but alot of them jus sing for the sake of singing....it's just a pity that they dunno what is appreciation for music. For the next three hours, Ms Choo smoothened the songs by adding colour, texture and dynamics....it was well done but still, it can alot more better. If we had the passion like Mansjuri, the stage presentation like HaiSing Catholic, we can get GOLD. We have techniques and perfect pitches....but there is no support and connection at all....Dull is the word to describe our singing style.....i dunno what to say leh...jus take care of yourself, choir members....please i beg you, put in MORE EFFORT and EXPRESSION!!!! I believe if everyone does this, we can really get GOLD. It's our heart and mind that decides our fate...so rethink again....
For those non-syfers, i really wanna thank you for yr patience and yr 'noise'....though sometimes is real loud....Seriously, i really hate those ppl who thinks tat choir is the best cca for slacking...if u are one of them, warning: GET OUT OF CHOIR AT ONCE!!! We dun need slackers and attitude problems immature kids in our choir. For goodness sake, we are a SILVER standard choir. Not a COP standard. Please, if u wanna slack then u better die off and dun ever come back. Life is for us to strive hard and achieve, not for u to slack with. Wasting yr life? Why not kill yrself? Save others.
Oh my god....only 2o+ days to mid-year, and guess wad? I still haven touch a single thing for revision. Maybe it will just be the end of the world for me....Schedules are full with practices, focus studies, napfa test and all sorts of rehearsals for the 20th anniversary. Waste my time only....i really want time. I cant catch up the fast pace of life, but still i have to live on. I cant kill myself and die off from this world. The only thing i can do is to live on. Smile. Wadever tat happens, jus smile. Sunshine comes after every shower. I believe things will just get better for me. Life is never easy for anyone. Live the best out of yr life. One life, live it..
Where were you when skies were grey
9:10 PM <3
| d r e a m |
exam exam and exam...|Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Haha...i've changed my blog skin again! Dun scold me orh, zelzel! Actually i've been feeling very moody and restless...keep sleeping during lessons....sorry teachers, i didnt mean to...seriously...i am very tired...i feel that i dun have the energy to go on anymore...maybe after Syf i will just drop dead....speaking of Syf...the people who are incapable are being kicked out...a pity lar..but hope they understand....7 more days to SYF! my vocal hasnt been improving since last week...still abit hoarse lor...haix..have to hao hao bao yang le! Zelzel, dun eat fried and oily food liao lor...tahan one more week den can eat till we like, okay? must ting hua lor... My 2 sisters have to stay in Spore for a week...due to some reasons which i'm lazy to explain, wanna know just come ask lor...so shuang siax..can have the whole bed...hahahaha.....and no one to fight the computer with me, exceot for my brother...but we negotiate things lar...haha...bit lonely lor...but atill can adapt to the silence in the house.... Been in love with the song "She's The One" re-sung by Hebe from S.H.E. at their concert. It's nice though...the original version was sung by Robbie Williams but i havent heard that before. Thank you Xf and Cg for helping me to find tat song although they didnt manage to. Thanks for the effort! Been feeling empty too....maybe i'm lacking love....Love is one of the vitamins in our life....We cant live without it, if not we will have some kind of defiency disease?! haha...ppl tend to fall into depression when they are are just lonely and out of love...lol... Sianx .....struggling over tests and revisions...dying soon...with so many rehearsals packing in weeks and after SYf there is the 20th anniversary performance by choir too....2 full-dress rehearsals which we are expected to stay from 6pm to 9pm lor! walau ehh...haix....i also lazy to do revision and homework though...i am known for my laziness! haha...Doubt i will make it for O level....haha...maybe i would get a 18 pointer and go poly! haha..or maybe like what Jieling told me, Gavin got 19 and got into Pioneer Jc...wow...that's amazing leh....maybe...maybe...maybe...i will die before O level?! haha...nonsense lar....jus bear with it.....lol....
Okay lar..i going off soon...sleep well everyone! sweet dreams!
Where were you when skies were grey
8:59 PM <3
| d r e a m |
sian de lor.....|Saturday, April 07, 2007
Thank god that i didnt went mute! My voice came back today after lots of crapping...haha...this morning went to choir practice...Zel zel not here cos seh gpt physics lesson with ms tan...haix...i was really pissed off by the singing today,
TOTALLY. goodness, we are not even up to our usual
SILVER standard. I really cant stand those complacent singers in the choir, almost all of them i can say...They are just so
IGNORANT about what is going to come and what to expect. Due to my hoarse voice today, i didnt manage to sing in my full voice and i really felt bad. Sorry Ms Choo. Horrendous singing. Oh my god, i cant even believe that we were once a
SILVER choir! I nearly burst into tears of anger during the rehearsal. I kept wiping off tears in my eyes, if anyone had even notice tat. I was so emotionally unstable at that moment of this when i heard the sopranos singing the solo part of Ca The Yowes. There wasnt any resonance and support at all. I shut my mouth and didnt sing cos Ms Choo asked me not to. But i was depressingly knocked out by their freaking attitudes they displayed towards singing. Laugh, laugh and laugh. This is what they are best at. They would laugh at the guys who are freaking hell stupid and dumb with those snnezing and crazy dance movements. It is
NOT FUNNY!!! There is only
9 DAYS to SYF, and they freaking hell give me this kind of attitude! Some of them even show black face or impatience, i jus dun wish to mention their names. I am
FED UP. I will do my best, i dun have the mood to care about the rest of them who still wish to remain in this "
WHATEVER, I DONT GIVE A DAMN" de state. Now i know the fellings of the seniors last time who used to train us and hels sectionals every now an then. But i believe they will vomit blood if they knew the state of choir now. Well, i will stop here. enough of my anger venting.
After choir practice and sectional, Zelzel n me went librarty to return and borrow some books. Then we went to the Woodlands stadium to do homework and study. It is indeed a nice place to study, better than the regional library. Can admire nice scenery there too, watching the rain as they pitter and patter down on the grass patch and tiles. Sem and Gz also came along cos Zel called Sem to help her with Chemistry. But we ended up doing our own homework. I spent 2 hours to finish my composition and left lots of questions undone for math. Lazy lar...it was rainging very heavily though. Left the stadium at about 5.30...walked to the bus stop with Zel. sian lor...on the way back, i met Jason, a 20 years old, handsome, tall, yet childish guy. He is my mum's fren's son. he is currently working at Bugis Junction lor. He likes to talk crap with me. Stupid him, dun wanna sit my car home, walked home himself. Dumb kid. haha...by the way, I've cut my hair yesterday. The hairdresser nearly want to cut my hair short! Zel n Sem saw my hair and said it looked like auntie and very nerdy with the spectacles siax....haix...no choice lar, have to let it regrow again and then cut for a better hairstyle. haix...Monday go back school sure will be laughed at de. What ever lar. I happy can le, dun care how people looked at me! haha.....kk lar, late le gotta sleep le. Nitex...sweet dreams everyone!
Where were you when skies were grey
11:05 PM <3
| d r e a m |
Sports Carnival.|Thursday, April 05, 2007
It was a hectic day though. People crying and injured. I was abit sad lar, not expecting all this to happen. My class din managed to win much, but we had a great day interacting with the other classmates whom we seldom talked to. haha..for example there is wilson, bing liang, kelvin and hong rui they all. Me, sem and jieling had so much fun guessing lame riddles and gave them stupid riddles to guess too...It had been a long time since i've so fun chatting with frens...Many had been disppointed with the results of the relay. Some even injured and cried over it. It was just not worth. We had put in our best foot, no matter what the results are, we still must continue to have our "never die" spirit! K? Nothing much to comment on lar...very sian lor..oh ya before i forget, i had a bad sore throat yesterday and guess wad? I shouted and cheered too much, and now i am nearly speechless...haix..must take care of myself lor...Syf is just 12 days away. If something is gonna happen to me, Ms Choo and Chuan Whai will be the first ones to kill me...haha....everyone must jia you for SYF!!! ganbatte! aja aja fighting! wye.dit!
Where were you when skies were grey
9:28 PM <3
| d r e a m |
arh! exams are coming!|Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Sorry for not blogging such a long time. heex...to lazy and too much work to do. Anyway, Ms Tan really CALLED my dad lol...haix....she told him tat i often doze off during her lesson. Den my dad very nice, explained to her tat i've to wake up very early in the morning and i dun really have enough sleep a day. She continued her crap and in the end she concluded by saying tat "Yr daughter sleeps in class." WTH...cant she jus stopped tat? My dad was abit pissed off by her. He nearly wanted to scream in the phone, telling her "Let her sleep lor, in that case..." HAHAHA...funny right? my dad was frustrated by her call obviously. Hence, now we are not sitting school bus anymore. My dad fetches us to the msia custom every morning so i could get another hour of sleep. My mum called my bus uncle to tell him tat we are not going to take his bus. My mum expected him to be shocked cos she called him on April's Fool Day! But he was so cold towards the call. We've been his 'customer' for nearly 10 years le lor. He ended up by saying "Orh okay lor. Bye." Just like tat. haix...so sad lor...he has been a nice bus uncle, unlike other uncles who spit vulgar language on you if u are late or something else. But he is quite flirty lar and abit horny too....*chuckles*
Okay, enough of tat. Now, my exam....oh my...only less than 1 month to my mid-year exams....cry.....due to the tight schedules of rehearsals for SYF, i rarely have time to revise my work. Furthermore, the exam will test even the sec 3 syllabus lor....damn lots of chapters sia....i gonna die of burning midnight oil...haha....my sis wanna stay at her fren's house which is near pasir ris...wad's the point lor....yox...wanted to stay at sem's...but dunno lar....see first bar....orh yar...boring focus study sia...kept doing papers with questions tat have been done before...gross lor....headache too....dunno when will this study sessions end...haix....jus have to zuo yi bu suan yi bu lor....tats all i tink...take care! and good luck for all ppl joining syf!
Where were you when skies were grey
7:16 PM <3
| d r e a m |
