my ending...|Sunday, May 14, 2006
sori ppl..my computer had been sent to repair for the past few months...so sad..but now can online liao..yeah!!! haha...but along these weeks alot of things have happened...well...i tink i no need to talk about friday's trip...since colin and shawn had done that...save my effort of re-doing it again...haha....but at least in my point of view....it was a nice day...and sumore i can play till 8 then go home!!! haha...but on the way back i was late and my mum reprimanded me..haha....but i dun care cos i was too happy to tink abt those things..hee...i've returned to soka choir...today morning we had a performance...sang 2 songs..it was okay la...28th may still got performance...haha....10th june got the spore soka choir exchange programme..need us to perform again..haix...but bet it'll be fun...hee...now to issue tat happened almost one week ago...i hasn't have the chance to write about that...so i'll tell u more abt it...
actually on 4th may was our 2nd anniversary and i gave him something i made myself...a cd album if i could say..with a letter..but that album seriously took me lots of effort to make it...just hope that he could appreciate it...haa..well..the problem lies with the letter...i asked him if we should continue or end our relationship....honestly..i hope we can continue cos we're like already quite close and since after the break-up last year we've been talking and chatting along quite well...i was just resurfacing our relationship...but he did something that i cried till i thought i could no longer hang on...he told me that he only brought me sufferings and unhappiness...i'll only be unhappy if we continue together...i cant belive he said that....i know tat he wasn't selfish or wadeva..but tat really hurts me...i know he always made me cry unknowingly....he did things tat he din noe would made me sad or angry....but that is not exactly his fault..i din tell him wad i wan and how i feel..i'm partly responsible too...
on monday...i went to library with hazel when jiajun smsed me that he was crying and cutting himself...i couldn't understand why at first...cos logically it should me who is supposed to be doing that...but he did it...i thought it long...i tink maybe he's jus guilty of making me suffer and all these things...he was not himself...i thought i got it over but i did not...although i din cry but inside me i wasn't getting tis over...i'm still tinking of him....i may looked strong on the outside but u are mistaken...i am very weak and fragile on the inside...
tat friday...he had mood swing half way back and he was agitated by shawn and huiyi for their carelessness of not informing him where they were...well...i sort of calm him down and we went to the pasar malam at cwp...we had lots of laughs there and i was glad he wasn't tat angry...hee...dunno whether has he found the passport cover anot...haha..i gotten my new international passport..i still remembered that 2 yrs ago he promised to buy me one passport cover...dunno whether he still recall it anot..haha...bet he wouldn't...hee...well if he really buy one for me i'll be very happy and further more...touched...haha...
wanna tell him tat whenever i see him sad or angry..i always have the urge to console him or calm him down...although i neva do a very good job..but tat's wad i tink...hee..seeing him smiling and happy i'll also be happy...and most importantly...i would like to tell him tat even being with him brings me sufferings and unhappiness...i'll still stay by his side always...i really do...cos i still love u...
Where were you when skies were grey
3:04 PM <3
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