i'm so tired...|Saturday, February 25, 2006
thursday was my 16th birthday...but i wasn't happy...actually i hate birthdays....u get presents that's the good thing but my paprents din give me anything...and sum more my mum kept telling us that our birthdays are their sufferings...cos they have to give birth to us or whatsoever...cant they understand?..haix...and worst still i cried on my birthday cos of a guy whom doesn't worth to cry for..but i just cant help it...i'm feeling very depressed nowadays...don't noe why but just have a feeling to overeact on things and feel like crying everytime...maybe it's because of stress bah...common test 1 coming in 2days' time but guess what..i still haven touch on any thing yet..i really don't have the mood to study...i feel like going on holiday for a year or even longer..to escape all this stress on him and studies...but i know it's impossible..i cant jus avoid everything...i need to face them..but i'm really very tired of facing these...i'm so exhausted...i want to sleep forever...and don't ever wake up...
i'm so fortunate to have a really good friend who do care about me...it's a guy anyway..i had a few friends who are guys and really care about me..we have really pure friendship between us...it's like good sisters chatting..haha...i feel that chatting with them it's even better when i chat with my girlfriends...maybe it's kind of an unique relationship bah...but i really like it...i can really say whatever i want to them and they really can lend me their ears...sometimes they do tell me their troubles and problems..even though i cant help in some way but it's really nice to share feelings with them...i don't even tell my blood-related sister about my secrets..it's weird isn't it? i don't know i just don't have a feeling to talk to her about my stuffs..and furthermore she's that kind of people who likes to gossip and she may even reveal my secrets to my mum! haha...i just cant trust her...so i must be very careful not to slip anything confidential out..if not it's hell for me...hahah...since young i have this view of mine that friends are more important and valuable than family...although this view hasn't totally gone out of me...cos my family do play their part in my life..but honestly...i tend to display more of myself in front of friends...well...most of my friends rely on family more..some even have homesickness in camps..i never had those..i love being out myself...but parents do get worried..ao in the end of the day i still spare a thought for thier worry and remember to go home..haha...
but i really have one advice and that's to treasure your family members..i do not have great family members whom you can share your thoughts with but you cant really trust your friend totally..you noe what;s outside your world...much more scary and dangerous stuff to face..but i'm alone...i don't have a shoulder to lean on so i have to depend on myself...i must learn to be more independent and i really have to find a true friend and a true companian with a comfortable shoulder for me to lean on...
Where were you when skies were grey
6:43 PM <3
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